What I think of stuff I've actually used

(and a couple of obnoxious comments about stuff I've only seen)

  Specialized FSR Team DH:  This bike is great.  7.5 front and rear travel.  The bike sits at just the right height.  You don't feel like a semi driver coming down the hill but the bottom bracket it high enough to where you don't clip the ground with the pedals when you compress in the rough stuff.  Going through rock gardens is a snap.  Get you butt of the back and let it fly.  The bike is better than me, that's for sure.  At least once a race I make one of those really stupid mistakes that make you say to yourself "ewww, this is going to hurt."  And the bike saves me.  Of course there are those stupid mistakes where I say "ewww, this is going to hurt, " and it does hurt.  But if the bike has a say in it we just roll through and keep on hammering.  Too bad they aren't making them anymore.  It has better tire clearance than an M-1, rides as good and is cheaper.  If you can find one at a shop get it.  But remember, never, ever buy a used downhill bike.  Kinda like never buy a used parachute.   

  Specialized FSR-XC:  Okay we really can't review this one yet.  I just got it for Agnes for Christmas.  But it's been sitting in the loft of the barn with us and it just looks so good sitting there.  You know it has to be a great bike cause it looks so good, right?  Actually Agnes did test ride it before we got it.  So far she's happy.  It was fun to watch her bunnyhopping on the streets around the store.  The thing is suprisingly light too.  (Update 12 Feb) Well Agnes rode it last weekend.  I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I think she really really likes it.  

  Specialized Ground Control FSR:  The original of the best suspension ever made.  This bike feels like you are on rails.  It slices, it dices, it jullians!  It makes a weird high-pitched buzzing noise that can drive you crazy trying to figure out what's up.  Everybody I talked to who owns one of the monocoque FSRs has at one time or another heard the buzz.  And you have to pick your seat tube length.  High or low and cut it accordingly.  I went too low for cross country, too high for downhill, so I guess that makes it a freeride bike.  But who cares, I love this bike... Not like I LOVE my girlfriend, but the kind of love where you become a whore to the company.  Now Specialized has dibs on my wallet.  I buy their clothes (except shoes, I'm still stuck with Cannondale there), I buy their accessories, hell I cheer for Shaun Palmer when I know that I should really be pulling for Shaums March.  And why is that?  Is the FSR the fastest bike ever? no.  Is it the best downhiller ever? no.  It's not the best and any given task, but it's just so darn better than most in all tasks that you can't beat it for being a great freeriding (ouch, bad word, bad word) bike.  Plus the thing is so overbuilt you don't have to worry about it snapping apart just cause you suck but don't know it yet.  Case in point:  I did the '99 NYC Century on the thing.  Towards the end we crossed the Queensborough Bridge.  When you cross the bridge there is a section where there are some steps...  a lot of steps actually.  I've been riding steps for over a year and these didn't look that different, just more of them... and a landing halfway down too.  I figured since I've ridden the steps in Central Park these wouldn't be too bad, just double it. And the landing in the middle, ha, that's the easy part.  WRONG.  halfway down, I did something terribly wrong, I'm not sure what, but it was terribly wrong because I finished descending a good two seconds before the bike did.  But other than one destroyed rim and the need for a little paint the bike was just as happy as could be.  Me... well blood and more soreness.  But hey, at least I didn't walk the bike down like some yuppie on a Mantra.

  Specialized Fatboy Cruiser:  What can you say about a cruiser.  They are cool-assed bikes.  And the Fatboy is the coolest.  It's not fast, you can't jump it without the risk of destroying the frame (so Specialized has warned), absolutely zero suspension (like when we were kids), but damn it's fun to jump on for quick runs to the bike shop or for coffee.  Everybody who has a full suspension bike should be required by law to also buy a cruiser, just so you can remember what's it's like to get beaten to death on rough roads but not give a rat cause it's just so darn fun to be riding your bike.

  Brooklyn Machine Works TMX:  I didn't get a whole lot of time on this bike but it is impressive.  10.5" of rear travel, and Rich had a Monster T up front.  This bike is heavy, we're talking cro-mo here, none of that sissy aluminum.  But it's a truck.  I saw Rich stack it hard while riding it.  The kind of crash on pavement where, in the videos, the bike just kind of folds in on itself and snaps to bits.  The TMX didn't even get tweaked.  This thing is a monster.  If you are looking for a bike you can throw out of an airplane and still ride to a podium at Plattekill when you get back to earth, this is the one.  And no bobbing!  I swear when you pedal the back end is not affected at all.  Smooth!   It's also killer cool to look at.  Even in John Deere Green.  Like most of the best DH rigs, you buy it as a frame and build it to your hearts desire.  So clueless yuppies looking for a status symbol need not apply, you can stick with your Kleins and leave the real bikes to the real riders.  Come to think of it, clueless yuppies, go out and do buy one, buy three.  After Spooky, I guess we need all the help we can get, so throw away your Mantras and go down to Sid's and get your TMX today!

  Gary Fisher Marlin:  For an entry level bike I have really enjoyed it.  Before I ever did any trail riding on it I had a Judy put on it and swapped the stock wheels for Mavic 517's/XTR (which later migrated to the FSR).  It's a fun bike but not a serious trail bike.  The back end is wildly skittish on anything more than a gentle downhill or under hard braking.  However, the thing is a tank.  I've had some of my best crashes while commuting to work on it.  Including three knarly monsters that laid me out in the middle of various Manhattan intersections and this bike has taken them all.  The most heinous crash, I was broadsided by a Taxi doing about 20mph through a red light.  He caught me on the drive side just behind the chainring and laid me out good in the middle of Park Ave and 28th.  The crash destroyed both wheelsets and I was sure the frame was dead too.  But nope, the guys at Sid's put on some Sun Mammoths/XT's (that came off Rob's DS bike) and I was back in action the next day, just very, very, very sore.

  GT LTS:  bounce bounce bounce...  Sorry but riding seated on this thing was like being 7 months old and in one of those baby bouncers.  Crank up the preload to get rid of the bobbing and.... well a bad handling $1500 hard tail, I got a bad handling hard tail for $350.  But at least the GT didn't buzz.

  Klein Mantra: Never actually rode one of these, but the theory just seems so stupid.  Suspension when you're seated that locks out when you stand.  hmmm Rockshox makes it for around $100, it's called a suspension seatpost.  Ya know, I've seen a lot of Mantra's at the trail heads and on the flats but I have never, ever seen a Mantra actually on a real trail...  Could it be... POSERMOBILE?

  GT Lobo DH:  I just had to throw this bike in.  If Specialized hadn't come out with the FSR-DH this would have been the downhill bike I would have bought.  Well maybe an M-1 or the Karpiel Armageddon.  But still the Lobo is probably the coolest looking bike I've ever seen.  Who knows, it might ride like crap, but it would look good doing it.